Free energy

Having finally made your cufflink choice, its in to the office. And it goes without saying, someone of your preeminence demands desk ornamentation of a certain individualistic sang-froid. No Newton's Cradle for you.

Off the cuff

With a podium babe puckered against each cheek, you raise your hands aloft; the Arc de Triomphe framing the moment. Winning the Tour de France on your first attempt, after only two weeks training, is no mean feat. But then your Sports Bicycle Alarm clock shatters the dream.

You grab a quick shower, cleansing with your eco-friendly, pedal-powered natural soap. Add a quick splash of Rapha's Eau de Chamois, and you're looking good. Extracting your Timothy Everest suit from the wardrobe nearly completes the ensemble. All you need are some cufflinks...

Are NÖ Planning meetings under threat from a US corporate behemoth?

Thankfully not. But the clock is ticking.

For last week, under the bike radar, Google launched another facility within its all-encompassing Google Maps application - users can now plot routes by bicycle, or Bicycling, as they put it on their drop-down option menu.



Currently in Beta phase and only for US maps, the ability to plot a complete bike ride could lead to a whole new world of e-biking possibilities.



Here at NÖ we have already applied Google Map's Streetview wonderment to good effect - as, in respect of NÖO9 Stage 1, we plotted our escape from Genoa's bustling city centre, to pick up the westward coast road. And come next spring, with NÖUNDICI, we'll be doing the same, but looking for an eastward exit. It goes without saying, one's nervous initial wheel-turns through an unknown locality can be made all the more safer, and profitable if you have already moved through those spaces, from the comfort of your own armchair.

Although this may seem elemental, everyday practice to some, remotely stepping along foreign thoroughfares, thousands of miles away, via the portal of your laptop, is mightily impressive.

But for now, one thing is certain, at NÖ we like a paper map. And a pint of beer. Until Google Grog arrives that is.

Scorpio rising

Some things we take for granted; not questioning their origins or provenance. Take something simple, like the pockets on the back of your cycling jersey, for example. Or maybe the zippered collar on the front. Or what about those limb-hugging bib shorts, or even the chamois within them. It's hard to believe such quotidian components of our biking exploits all came into being via just one enlightened individual.

Armando Castelli found his vocation working for Milanese tailor Vittore Gianni. Back in 1876, Gianni became an innovative couturier industry, clothing the likes of AC Milan, Juventus and the Milan Ballet. Their first cycling products arrived a little later, as the 20th century began, sported by five-time Giro champion Alfredo Binda - who some believe to be the foremost Italian sporting legend. As well as becoming the first ever cycling world champion (in 1927), an accomplishment he would secure twice more, Binda also won the Milan-San Remo Classic on two occasions. He is recognised as one of the forefathers of modern stage racing, combining the strength of a one-day Classics rider with an incredible climbing acumen. Arguably his greatest achievement occurred after he had hung up his own saddle, as Binda took on the implausible task of coaching both Fausto Coppi and Gino Bartali.



At this time, Armando Castelli, the now owner of Vittore Gianni, was making cycling apparel for Bartali. But Coppi, a Gianni patron himself, also came to Castelli for velo vesture, thus dragging the combatant's bitter road rivalry into the tailor's studio. Coppi demanded an edge. Castelli obliged - dropping the ubiquitous woolen jersey for silk threads, thereby introducing the first ever skin suit. The rest, is history. Picture the famous image of Fausto Coppi sharing a water bottle with Gino Bartali, as they climb the Col d’Izoard - both wear Castelli cycling apparel.



By 1948, Armando Castelli had a son - Maurizio. Castelli junior was no mean cyclist himself. But he would abandon a promising career on the road, and take up his father's mantle, so continuing the legacy of Castelli sportswear. And in 1974, at the age of 26, Maurizio created the eponymous Castelli Sport, with it turning the sports clothing industry on its head. With specific emphasis on competitive cycling, Castelli would introduce an impressive roster of firsts - the first Lycra shorts used in racing and sold to the public, the first colored shorts, the first sublimation printed team wear, the first synthetic winter clothing, the first use of windproof membranes, the first hydrophilic fabric treatments, and the first anatomic chamois seatpad. Castelli ingenuity revolutionized cycling; this tangibly illustrated by the hoards of cyclists lining up outside the Milan factory to purchase the new Lycra short.

In time, Castelli would clothe all the greats - Bartali, Coppi, Anquetil, Van Looy, Moilenaers, Bahamontes, Baldini, Magni, Riviere, Merckx, and Hinault. Almost appropriately, in 1995, a pertinent coda to this Milan Grand Opera played out - Maurizio Castelli died on his bike, whilst tackling the Cipressa climb, the next-to-last hill on the Milano-San Remo course. Today, his, and his father's, legacy live on, racing with the Cervélo Test Team. An ongoing obsession with innovation keeps Maurizio’s vision alive - to be at the cutting edge of technology, performance and design. Perhaps it is entirely fitting that their iconic company insignia should come in the form of a scorpion - whose origins are rumoured to involve a mistress born under the sign of Scorpio.




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So, maybe the next time you reach for a fig roll from your rear jersey pocket, or climb into some modest bib shorts, one might briefly pay your respects to Castelli. Grazie Armando.

The Castelli Mauro Wool Jersey
The yarn reads thus: in 2005 Castelli staff, whilst cleaning out the company basement came across a sealed box marked 'financial documents'. The box was apparently filled with woolen jersey designs from the 1970's, among them the Mauro. This quintessential garment became a fundamental component of Castelli's heritage re-launch.

Boom

Here's an interesting one - Who was the last rider to hold the yellow, green, polkadot and white jersey simultaneously?

In this instance, it was Rabobank's Lars Boom, after his impressive debut in the Paris-Nice Prologue.

"I gave everything I had knowing this was a course for me, with a little climb at the start and a fast hard, flat course afterwards. I expected a good time but maybe not that good. To beat riders like Contador, Sanchez and the rest is just fabulous. My best result to date was winning a Vuelta stage. Now I’m hoping to retain the yellow jersey in the next couple of days knowing that with the first climbs, it’ll be hard to stay with the best."

'The more you look out for something, the more obvious it becomes.'

Well, they've come a long way since the 'ripe peach and hammer' days. But do any of these road safety Public Information Films actually make a difference?

Here's the latest from TFL, and Mayor Boris Johnson, as part of their new Cycle Safety Action Plan.



We're prepared to wager that the only actual 'bike aware' vehicle drivers are those who also cycle. And, with a rough estimate suggesting 80% of London citizens do not ride bikes, giant banknotes, twelve foot policeman and plate-proportioned alarm buttons just aren't going to make a difference. What might reach out more effectively is some gritty realism, as opposed to pastiche surrealism. One example is the Department for Transport spot featuring a man haunted by the corpse of a child he killed in a road accident.



Here, gimmicky visual tricks pale into insignificance when the true effect is highlighted, instead of the cause. So, slick though the TFL spot is, the films apparent style may mask its 'unobvious' content. As one viewer commented "wow great! just remind me of the point of that again?"

Spot the difference

Throughout his grand, 2009 comeback season we tuned-in to the Lance Armstrong Twitter feed. Nuggets of behind-the-scenes commentary grew aplenty, some requiring little between the lines reading. He proved quite a prolific 'social media' exponent - via UberTwitter, Blackberry and TwiptPic. And duly harnessed such unbridled outreach potential to great effect - with what grew to become the Lance equivalent of an illegal rave - mass rides spontaneously occuring each and every time he announced an 'impromtu' cruise of any given host city.


In due course, we became morethan familiar with the nonchalant profile icon - the man in 'leisure mode' - presumably taking-in some down time on an ocean-orientated jaunt.


But that was the 2009 Lance.

A year on, he's extricated himself from Astana, built a solid team around himself, and judging by the focussed, steel-nerved 2010 profile icon - he's taking no prisoners, looking to the podium peak, lean, mean, and ready to rumble!

"Like an old, familiar armchair in a gentleman's club".

Back in August 2008 we began a year-long relationship with a Selle Italia SLR Gel Flow Saddle. And let's just say we've not fallen out. More moved on.

There were some very high moments, almost immediately followed by some low ones. But overall, the journey was a rewarding, and positive one. So, with the knowledge that next year will see some testing days in the saddle, we thought it was good time to expand our seat of learning. Ciao Selle.

Enter the Charge Spoon Cro-Mo Saddle.

Charge are a London-based company, borne out of the fixie/single speed scene. They have very high production values, but seem to miraculously tender items at the moderate to economic end of the sales spectrum. The Spoon Cro-Mo is a case in point - retailing in the region of an inexpensive £25.

On first introduction, one's reaction is entirely (and wrongly) based on this factor. "So it can't be that good, right?"

Yet, paradoxically, the professional, and consumer, reaction tells a vastly different story. "The Spoon Cro-Mo is staying on my bike in place of the Brooks, it really is that comfortable", say Road Cycling UK, in the process awarding a 10/10.

"It's comfortable, like an old, familiar armchair in a gentleman's club", declare Bike Radar.

This comment certainly struck a nerve. A perineal one. And seemed entirely concordant with the NÖ ethos.

Therefore, with our purchase of a multi-award winning Spoon Cro-Mo Saddle comes an eagerly anticipated change of wallpaper*. Out the crimson crusading, in the tanned traveller. And having dipped our cleats in the sonorous sportive scene, we're now looking to values of affability, bonhomie, finesse and understated soigne. For us, it's not about how fast you get there, but the manner in which you do it.

Armchair adventures await.

NÖ Analysis - testing cycling products, so you don't have to...

*note our bar tape feature.

Tale of the tape

Hands up who's changed their own bar tape.

This weekend we entertained the dark arts of bar tape installation; which entailed removal of a perfectly-wrapped Fi'zi:k set, lasting in the region of two years. Many a mile, and many a moment. We become familiar, and to some extent comforted by the wallpaper of our chosen colours. From a rider's perspective, one's handlebars frame each and every journey we make; they underline our endeavours, accent our pathway. In some fashion, they also publish our persona - as one might tie a yellow ribbon, the varied tapes of transit speak volumes of the rider behind those bars. From cork, to leather, to multi-striped, multi-coloured banding, there exists a plethora of options, each as individual as one's choice of cologne.

So, having invested in a new saddle, we selected appropriately-sympathetic bar tape (honey brown, don't you know), as well as a set of Fi'zi:k Bar Gel inserts. If you can make your ride easier, why not. Then, we paused - more in trepidation than anything else. We'd never seen it done; previously leaving such practice to the man at the LBS (local bike shop).

But then how difficult can it be? Research told us the art of tape wrapping is an acquired one. And anyone presuming you simply peel off the tape protecting the adhesive side, and wrap away, has a fifty-percent chance of getting it wrong. In time, we discovered there is a correct and incorrect direction to wind, and each respective 'horn' end of the bar has its own associated method. This is omitted from a recent Guardian article, giving the whole procedure a mere one star rating (out of five) for difficulty. Internet exploration throws up a great deal more 'experts' who also omit any emphasis on the 'right' way to go about it.

Luckily we happened upon one nugget of YouTube wisdom. This provides half the story. The fundamental technique concerns direction of wrap - the left bar end requires clockwise layering, allied to a crafty figure-of-eight binding, as one negotiates the brake hood. Performed correctly, your onward motion will then see you wrapping the remaining section by feeding the tape away from the frame - ostensibly in the direction of travel. Here lies the critical component readers. For, as one grips the handlebars, there is a natural tendency to forward rotation of one's purchase. Apropos, if you've inadvertently wrapped your bars the wrong way, over time your tape will unwind, bunch-up and lose its form across your bars. And, as anyone knows, crumpled bar tape is a major faux pas. The right bar end then requires an opposite direction of wrap (to also arrive at an awayward direction on the top section).

So, armed with this knowledge, we set about the task in hand. And have to say, there's nothing more satisfying than punching home your bar end plug, at the conclusion of an afternoon's taping toil.

"Diecisiete insignias del patrocinador?!"

The Vuelta a Murcia is currently running. So you may be familiar with its corresponding publicity image

In its raw state, this pointillism-inspired tableau may have incited cries of "maravilloso!" from the design team. But then arrives the marketing department, with their decree "Hay diecisiete insignias del patrocinador". And like a resigned Don Quixote, Señor Graphico is forced to obliterate all velo vestiges, with a monstrous block of 17 sponsor logos, this occupying 50% of the available space. We're left with not a spoke in sight, and a rather hunched, alien form hovering in the undergrowth. Absurdo.

Fool's gold

Q: What does Jill Masterton and a single-speed track bike have in common?

One might wager both have been ridden by someone with a one-track mind. But you'd be wrong.

The answer is they both had a 24-carat gold finish.


As we all know, Jill Masterton was a fictional character in Ian Fleming's James Bond novel Goldfinger. One who met her demise after being 'suffocated' under a veneer of gold body paint. The other is the first production item to roll out of Scandinavian design company AURUMANIA - a Copenhagen-based venture whose 'pre-occupation with gold', entitles them to a manifesto which reads thus:

'In a world where product design often results in the insipidly ordinary, AURUMANIA demands the return of the wildly extravagant. With a licence to luxuriate in the unbridled pleasure of unusual objects with a sublime 24-carat gold finish'.




So what of the Aurumania Gold Bike? Well, each one is hand-built. Then plated with 24-carat gold. The handlebar grips are made of hand-sewn, chocolate-brown leather, with a moulded Brooks leather saddle providing an appropriate level of sumptuous seating. If you want one, you'll need €21,000 spare. Which converts to roughly £19,000. Naturally, with such a purchase, one instantly enters membership of the nonpareil elite. Yet Aurumania attempt to diffuse such carpe diem - 'Most AURUMANIA products will be familiar, practical objects within their respective categories - objects you can normally use for their normal purpose, if you want to'.

Vini, velo, vici

A feeling of sour grapes recently fermented at Wisconsin-based Trek Bicycle Corp., when it lost a federal trademark lawsuit it had filed against northern Californian Trek Winery.

The bike manufacturer was arguing that it violated federal and state trademark infringement laws by using the Trek name. But U.S. District Court Judge Barbara Crabb was having none of it. And granted a motion to dismiss the case for lack of jurisdiction. She ruled that the bike maker failed to show that the winery had sufficient contacts with Wisconsin to satisfy legal requirements for the lawsuit to be heard in federal court in Wisconsin.

Time for Trek Winery to redesign its labels...